That's what Dr. Arronin had to say about Benjamin when we saw her yesterday. Outstanding! Everything is going as planned, just like it should. He is healthy, and will have no long term problems from all this. Praise God!
Long term.... we will go back in six months (January). Then, we'll go back six months after that. Hopefully, if all continues going as it is now, we will then only be going once a year. She said we would be doing that while his head grows at such a rapid rate. Once his head growth slows, we should be done. Not sure exactly how long that will be.
We are so, very, thankful for another good report! God has been so good to us!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
In My Arms
I heard this song on the radio today, and thought it was beautiful! The song triggered some memories, which then triggered a thought process, which of course led to this blog. :-) Funny how that happens!
Here's the first part of the song and the chorus.
Your baby blues
So full of wonder
Your curlicues
Your contagious smile
And as I watch
You start to grow up
All I can do is hold you tight
Knowing
Clouds will rage in
Storms will race in
But you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down
Waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms
There have been so many instances where I have held my baby, looking at their sweet face, knowing full well that they are sinners, born into a sin marred world. A world where they will fall down and get hurt, where sickness is inevitable, and where people will hurt them. Even though they are very loved, and even though Curtis and I vow to do everything possible to shelter and protect them, we know we can't. But in that moment, as I look into their sweet face, they are safe in my arms.
I remember holding Benjamin for the last time before his surgery, as Curtis and I prayed over him. And then the doctor came, and I let him leave the safety of my arms. And even worse, I knew what he was about to undergo. It was the hardest part of the entire day for me, to have my baby leave my arms, probably the hardest thing that I have ever done. I know that the only way I was able to do that without completely losing it was to know that my arms aren't the safest place for him, or any of my children. Try as I may, I can't protect them from the trials they will encounter. Even though I did everything "right" during my pregnancy, I couldn't protect Benjamin from his deformity. And even though I love my children, so very much, I know that they are loved by Someone who can keep them safe. And so, at that moment when I let my baby leave the safety of my arms, I thought about the ONE who was holding him.
After the surgery, I went back to the recovery room to be with Benjamin as he woke up. Coming out of anesthesia isn't fun, especially when you are six months old! I was nervous about seeing him for the first time, unsure of what to expect. But the joy that I had seeing him, doing so well was immense! Never mind the cords, the wires, the beeping, or the massive bandage. God had protected him, and kept him safe in HIS arms.
"We don't usually let Mom or Dad hold their baby right after surgery," the nurse told me. "But Dr. Aronin gave special instructions to let you hold him." I was so thankful!! It was quite a challenge to maneuver all the wires and cords, but of course we managed. And when he was placed back into my arms, I had more joy and thankfulness than when I held him for the very first time, after he was born.
Later, during the middle of the night, Benjamin struggled some with pain. We were able to manage it with morphine, but in order to get out of the PICU, he had to be off morphine. I was the only one up there with him, and rather than sleeping, I was watching him sleep. As he started to struggle with some pain, and his blood pressure rose, I asked the nurse if I could hold him (so strange to have to ask permission to hold your own baby!). She kindly told me that sometimes the best thing is for them to just get rest and not to be messed with. She also told me that she was a mom, and knew that sometimes moms just need to hold their baby. I wanted to do what was best for him, so I just loved on him and let him rest. But his blood pressure wasn't going down. The nurse suggested that we go ahead and let me hold him and try to nurse him (another requirement to get out of the PICU). The second that he was put in my arms, his blood pressure dropped to normal, as did his heart rate. The nurse just smiled, and said, "Well, you were obviously right, and knew just what he needed!" The safety of my arms.
Thank you, Heavenly Father, for holding us all in your arms! Thank you for loving us, for protecting us, and for showering your us with your grace and mercy. Once again, I place my children back in your arms, knowing that you alone can keep them safe.
Here's the first part of the song and the chorus.
Your baby blues
So full of wonder
Your curlicues
Your contagious smile
And as I watch
You start to grow up
All I can do is hold you tight
Knowing
Clouds will rage in
Storms will race in
But you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down
Waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms
There have been so many instances where I have held my baby, looking at their sweet face, knowing full well that they are sinners, born into a sin marred world. A world where they will fall down and get hurt, where sickness is inevitable, and where people will hurt them. Even though they are very loved, and even though Curtis and I vow to do everything possible to shelter and protect them, we know we can't. But in that moment, as I look into their sweet face, they are safe in my arms.
I remember holding Benjamin for the last time before his surgery, as Curtis and I prayed over him. And then the doctor came, and I let him leave the safety of my arms. And even worse, I knew what he was about to undergo. It was the hardest part of the entire day for me, to have my baby leave my arms, probably the hardest thing that I have ever done. I know that the only way I was able to do that without completely losing it was to know that my arms aren't the safest place for him, or any of my children. Try as I may, I can't protect them from the trials they will encounter. Even though I did everything "right" during my pregnancy, I couldn't protect Benjamin from his deformity. And even though I love my children, so very much, I know that they are loved by Someone who can keep them safe. And so, at that moment when I let my baby leave the safety of my arms, I thought about the ONE who was holding him.
After the surgery, I went back to the recovery room to be with Benjamin as he woke up. Coming out of anesthesia isn't fun, especially when you are six months old! I was nervous about seeing him for the first time, unsure of what to expect. But the joy that I had seeing him, doing so well was immense! Never mind the cords, the wires, the beeping, or the massive bandage. God had protected him, and kept him safe in HIS arms.
"We don't usually let Mom or Dad hold their baby right after surgery," the nurse told me. "But Dr. Aronin gave special instructions to let you hold him." I was so thankful!! It was quite a challenge to maneuver all the wires and cords, but of course we managed. And when he was placed back into my arms, I had more joy and thankfulness than when I held him for the very first time, after he was born.
Later, during the middle of the night, Benjamin struggled some with pain. We were able to manage it with morphine, but in order to get out of the PICU, he had to be off morphine. I was the only one up there with him, and rather than sleeping, I was watching him sleep. As he started to struggle with some pain, and his blood pressure rose, I asked the nurse if I could hold him (so strange to have to ask permission to hold your own baby!). She kindly told me that sometimes the best thing is for them to just get rest and not to be messed with. She also told me that she was a mom, and knew that sometimes moms just need to hold their baby. I wanted to do what was best for him, so I just loved on him and let him rest. But his blood pressure wasn't going down. The nurse suggested that we go ahead and let me hold him and try to nurse him (another requirement to get out of the PICU). The second that he was put in my arms, his blood pressure dropped to normal, as did his heart rate. The nurse just smiled, and said, "Well, you were obviously right, and knew just what he needed!" The safety of my arms.
Thank you, Heavenly Father, for holding us all in your arms! Thank you for loving us, for protecting us, and for showering your us with your grace and mercy. Once again, I place my children back in your arms, knowing that you alone can keep them safe.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
What to do
I started this blog to share the news of our pregnancy with Benjamin. During my rather uneventful pregnancy, I used this blog to share little stories, updates, ultrasound pictures and of course, belly pictures!
After Benjamin's birth, the blog was used for all those baby pictures... you know the ones... where the baby looks the same since all he does is sleep, but he was wearing different clothes! I almost used the blog as a scrapbook or journal, to record little milestones and memories I was afraid of forgetting in my sleep deprived state.
When Benjamin was about five months old, I started thinking about wrapping this blog up, and just posting on our family blog.
But then we had that unforgettable visit to the doctor.
For the second time, I used a blog to ask prayer for my baby. Rather than cheerful updates and cute pictures, I was posting about head deformities and possible diagnosis's and treatments. I used this blog to write out my thoughts, to pray, to find comfort in God's word. The prayers of the people continued, and every day I heard from someone new, someone who was praying for us.
After Benjamin's surgery, I was able to keep all our faithful prayer warriors up to date. Words will never be able to express how thankful I was for the prayers, the e-mails, the comments, the phone calls that we got during our time in Austin. The blog served as a tangible reminder of all those prayers.
I continued to use the blog to let people know how Benjamin was doing and progressing. Our prayer has been that Benjamin will one day say the words of David:
But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteousness, of your salvation all day long, though I know not its measure. I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign LORD; I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone. Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. (Psalm 71)
God has done marvelous deeds in Benjamin's life, and in our lives. I prayed that this blog would declare those might deeds, that it would be a place where we could tell of the righteous acts of God.
So now what? What should I do with this blog now?
I thought about continuing to post until Benjamin was released from the neuro surgeon. I thought about making this my final post. But then today I was talking with someone who was going to be able to give a friend this blog as a source of encouragement since her friend's daughter will be having similar surgery soon. God has given me a couple opportunities like this.... opportunities to help and encourage other parents facing the same thing we've been through.
So for now, I'll keep posting, and telling of the marvelous acts of God, because there are so many!
After Benjamin's birth, the blog was used for all those baby pictures... you know the ones... where the baby looks the same since all he does is sleep, but he was wearing different clothes! I almost used the blog as a scrapbook or journal, to record little milestones and memories I was afraid of forgetting in my sleep deprived state.
When Benjamin was about five months old, I started thinking about wrapping this blog up, and just posting on our family blog.
But then we had that unforgettable visit to the doctor.
For the second time, I used a blog to ask prayer for my baby. Rather than cheerful updates and cute pictures, I was posting about head deformities and possible diagnosis's and treatments. I used this blog to write out my thoughts, to pray, to find comfort in God's word. The prayers of the people continued, and every day I heard from someone new, someone who was praying for us.
After Benjamin's surgery, I was able to keep all our faithful prayer warriors up to date. Words will never be able to express how thankful I was for the prayers, the e-mails, the comments, the phone calls that we got during our time in Austin. The blog served as a tangible reminder of all those prayers.
I continued to use the blog to let people know how Benjamin was doing and progressing. Our prayer has been that Benjamin will one day say the words of David:
But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteousness, of your salvation all day long, though I know not its measure. I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign LORD; I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone. Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. (Psalm 71)
God has done marvelous deeds in Benjamin's life, and in our lives. I prayed that this blog would declare those might deeds, that it would be a place where we could tell of the righteous acts of God.
So now what? What should I do with this blog now?
I thought about continuing to post until Benjamin was released from the neuro surgeon. I thought about making this my final post. But then today I was talking with someone who was going to be able to give a friend this blog as a source of encouragement since her friend's daughter will be having similar surgery soon. God has given me a couple opportunities like this.... opportunities to help and encourage other parents facing the same thing we've been through.
So for now, I'll keep posting, and telling of the marvelous acts of God, because there are so many!
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